The responsibility of raising a child is enormous. There a large number of factors playing to influence what your child will grow up to be. One of the most important factors, which also happens to be totally under your control, is – Your Parenting Style.
While some argue genetics play a greater role in determining who your child will become tomorrow, debate on this is finally settled. It’s not nature vs nurture, but nature and nurture both play an equally significant role in the outcome of a child’s success as a member of our evolving society. Research has shown that there are four distinct parenting styles, Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive and Neglectful. Each one comes with its own caveats, but the results are predictable.
Authoritative Parenting: Authoritative and authoritarian might sound similar, but they follow very different values and parenting beliefs. Personal freedom and family values are the commonly held beliefs by Authoritative Parents. Authoritative parents’ expectations are higher which are enforced with reasoning and open discussions. A mutual understanding is reached with the child by affectionately setting clear boundaries. This method is also called the Democratic Parenting method.
Authoritarian Parenting: Authoritarian parents have higher expectations from their kids too, however they enforce them by demanding blind obedience. The reasoning used usually sums up with “because I’m telling you to”. These parents employ strict discipline and counter intuitive punishments as a means to enforce their beliefs.
Permissive Parenting: Also known as Indulgent Parenting style, an indulgent parent will often give in to the child’s demands and shy away from saying no. They set few boundaries and rules in order not to dishearten their children. Most demands are met, sometimes by going out of their means.
Neglectful Parenting: Neglectful Parents, as the name suggests, are neglectful and uncaring. They don’t expect much from their kids and are usually un-involved in the child’s life. Such parents are often themselves the victims of mental health disorders, depression, and stress. Ironically, neglectful parents have been observed to have had a neglectful childhood.
A child is like a tree which can be nurtured with the right ingredients but cannot be confined in a room. No one person can follow a parenting style to the T and expect the associated results, but everyone employs their personal beliefs and fall somewhere between the four parenting styles, as if on a curve. That being said, years of research has proved the Authoritative Parenting style to be the most effective in order to produce independent, happy and content members of the society. Adults raised with all other methods display various degrees of self-control and emotional management issues.